If you actually stop to count them, there are very few times in your life where you meet a genuinely crazy person. And I'm not talking about quiet homeless guys who mumble to themselves crazy or lady who mixes up her medications and thinks you're trying to kill her crazy (story for another day). I'm talking about people who are in the business of telling as many people as possible about their crazy. I mean people whom after you meet them you believe must be angels sent from Heaven to bless you with their batshit craziness. Those moments are rare, and I'll share one with you.
A couple of nights ago I went out for coffee with a friend. After placing our order we realize that there really are no open places to sit. My friend, being the proactive one and the only one of us not terrified by the thought of sitting next to strangers, runs over and sits near a guy who looks about a year or so younger than me who is reading a book, and she asks if we can sit with him. He had an Indiana Jones style fedora pulled low down over his head and a gigantic silver pendant around his neck he later told us was from the Hard Rock Cafe. Now I didn't think much of it at the time, but the fact that the guy was reading a biography of Bob Barker should have tipped me off right away that we were in for an amazing evening.
"Hey," I thought. "A lot of guys my age tend to look up to older guys that are surrounded by beautiful women and who give away free shit, it's probably no big deal."
It was a big deal.
The kid talked non-stop from the time my friend and I sat down to the time we left, which was ultimately abbreviated because I had never drank coffee so quickly in my entire life. He spoke passionately about Bob, Ryan Seacrest, and all things pop culture. He also told us of the dangers of coffee drinking and that he didn't drink it because he had given up awhile back on all things containing alcohol. I believe at this point it was only his small glass of lowfat milk sitting next to him that kept him from being thrown out. Either that or he was just as inspirational to the staff as he was to us, although that didn't seem likely because they could be seen from time to time waving white flags of surrender with apologies to us written on them.
Then he tried to give us his American Idol audition.
Thankfully, he didn't sing but instead gave us his best shot at hosting the show. He chose country music night for his episode. A strong choice I think.
This chance encounter has me thinking a lot about crazy game show hosts. I think I feel some fiction writing coming soon!
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